Fundamental Mindset For Your Personal Development Journey

Hello SCG.

it has been over 2 years since I have had life-changing Skype chat with my 1st mentor, Gary Haslam. Among first things, I was told, was:

Be Nice and Gentle to Yourself!

That time (in July 2008), I was pretty skeptical about this statement, because it seemed to me very selfish and narcissistic advice to live by. It took me over 24 months to fully grasp depth and importance of this powerful statement…

Why was “treating yourself nicely” one of the first things I was told to remember and act upon?

Let me start with 2  possible life scenarios. I believe, that:

#1 All of us want others to respect us, to care about us, to be polite to us and to treat us nicely. Can we agree on that? <Yes, we can!> I hear, ya!;-)

#2 All of us have had “depressing-low- world’s coming to its end- why me” like moments along the way? Can we agree on this, too? <Yes> Great.

I will take a privilege to assume, that most of you prefer scenario #1 with nice and gentle world. Am I correct? <Yeap> High five on that!;-)

Question is how to get to “nice and gentle-land“?

Path to: “to be treated nicely” world cannot be found on Google maps, nor any GPS system will take you there. Are you sad? Do not be!

There is a way, which is closer to you than you can imagine!

Path to a nice and gentle world goes through bushy jungle of doubt, worries and fears of your own mind.

Clearing your path and breaking through your own roughness and wilderness jungle can be done without axes.

The only tool you need is to remember:

Be Nice and Gentle to Yourself!

Once you will realize, that you are the way and that you have all the tools to get your way out of this jungle, you will realize what a wonderful world you would have left behind, if you would not start consciously cutting your way through your own fears and other “creative” self-destructive affirmations.


please keep in mind that first you need to be nice to yourself. How else do you expect others to do so, if you are an expert in self-sabotaging? Universe can feel your vibes and what you send out, will be sent back at you, therefore:

  • Love yourself first and only then you can truly give love to others.
  • Be nice to yourself first and only then you can expect others to be nice to you.

Whenever you will find yourself lost in your own mind’s jungle, just remember how much nicer scenario #1 was and immediately get your hands dirty with cutting your way through with “be nice and gentle to yourself” mindset.


are you nice and gentle to yourself? When was the last time you told yourself: “let’s give a treat to myself?” Have you realized how quickly you can fix yourself only by empowering you to be tender to yourself?



P.S.: I cannot express by words, how much has Gary Haslam done for me by sharing with me this (at first look) very ordinary sentence. Thank YOU, Gary!


  1. This is an interesting way out of the jungle of your mind. I tend to look out through the jungle by serving others. Those opportunities are not always available so I am left with just myself and my thoughts. I like the word ‘gentle’. It is how I would treat someone else facing the jungle. Thank you for this reminder to be just as gentle with my self too. 🙂

    • Hey Scott,
      thanks for reading out and also for sharing your way how to get on your path. Serving others is just amazing approach. And, yes do not forget, that in order for others to be served by you, YOU are the most important bit of this process!
      Have a nice and gentle weekend.
      And thanks for RT!;-)

  2. I’ve always been a fan of the idea — be your own best friend — after all, wherever you go, there you are 😉

  3. thank you for reminding me that i am closest to myself first!
    when i started this journey i would only respond to a gentle coach. So if im my own coach then i should first of all be gentle with myself…

  4. Ivana, thanks for a great reminder. It’s never wise to compromise our happiness so much that we lose a track of who we really are. Once I read a quote which I think nicely fits your post: “The person that comes first in your life is YOU. Don’t compromise yourself for other people. Stand your ground and know what you want in life.” This was written in 2009 by Sbongile Tshabalala (South Africa). It is not easy to know what a person wants…but what makes a difference is simply to give yourself a chance to understand … :))

    • Ahoj Janka,

      welcome to SCG! -> thanks for your 1st comment and for sharing wise quote with us.
      Indeed, we need to start with ourselves -> in everything, in love, in care, in happiness, then we will be able to love and care and be happy with others.
      Happy journey to you!

  5. I know exactly how you feel 🙂


  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Scott Stafström, Ivana Sendecka. Ivana Sendecka said: shipped for Inspiring Shipments #IS.Have a look, if you are curious to know what is a must mindset for your PD journey! […]

  2. […] first time live!<And I don’t dare to describe this experience by words> There are many lessons, which Gary taught  me and shared with me with all the care, gentleness and patience, but the most […]

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