Hello SCG, today I would like to hear your take on:
What would you do,if you would find out that those you are trying to help, DO NOT want to be helped?
Peace.
Question Of The Week #25
June 27, 2010 by 26 Comments
Inspiring Shipments (#IS) by Ivana Sendecka
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Inspiring Shipments (#IS) by Ivana Sendecka 
Iva – Just try to fall in love with yourself and stop having any rivals and worries.
YES!;-) Words of a wise man! Thank YOU, Mike!
with each person it can have another way. At first I wiould ask myself why he/she dont want help. Somethimes people just think that they are wasting your time, in this case i wuold sure that person that I really wanna to be here for him/her.
In the other case if someone just dont want your help just because dont – so maybe he/she really needs to do this thing alone, or i dont know. In this case i would be maybe little confused and sad, but somethimes there are another paths for us 🙂
I know personally that somethimes i just need to fall down in some horrible way to recognize people around me 🙂
Yes, Lucka sometimes there are simply different paths and everyone need to carry on with his/her journey;-)
I’d respect their decision and move on. The world has 7 billion people, and there are many out there who do need help. I’ll target them rather than waste my time and energy on someone who doesn’t appreciate what i do or genuinely doesn’t have the need for help. People do reject love, so refusing help is NO BIG DEAL 🙂
Why are you asking this question? Any bad experience with anyone you wanted to help? If so, remember this, Ivana. The world has 7 billion people, for help, for love, for support and everything else you possibly can think of.
Good day 🙂
Hey Nibras!
thank you for your 1st comment!;-)
Yes, you cannot force help on someone who does not have a need to be helped;-)
Hi babe,
I will help anyway. Little bit selfish but I really do not care.
v.
Remember then, that help which is not needed can be “appreciated” in offensive manner from the receiver, who is not aware that he/she needs help.
It’s usually because they are not ready. I let them know I’m here and care. When they are ready – and sometimes it takes years – I’m there for them.
I’ve tried to do otherwise and it just ends up frustrating both of us.
Yes, when student is ready teacher will come. When teacher is ready students will appear;-)
No need to force, flow of life will “arrange” it all;-)
I won’t extend my help to neone who doesnt asks for it, though there r exceptions to this rule (the people who r very dear to me). Otherwise my experience with life says that help shouldn’t be extended where it is not warranted for. there can be numerous arguments in FOR and against this but it goes well with my exp in life and we all learn it sooner or later.
njoy
Thank you for sharing your experience with us, Vishal!
I think it’s a perfect reminder that we live in a crowded world where maturity and specialization are common … and it’s a game of slice the niches. The real play here is to shift from “supply” driven to customer “demand” driven and truly find the pain points and be incredibly relevant. The secret here though is first find the tribe that you truly connect with — so that you can preach to the choir. You can lead a horse to water, but you should find a thirsty horse first, otherwise, you fell into the trap of supply-driven again. It’s a pull-economy, so that means super relevancy and truly knowing demand is the name of the game, and shifting to a “prosumer” model.
Thank you J.D.!
Yes, finding thirsty horse is the key. But what if demand and thirsty horses are nowhere near by?;-)
Well thats kind of sad when you want to help but people reject it. I think i shall move on.
Thumbs up, Balal
We live to love, but that love must not be delivered in force. The recipient of our “help” should be left a free choice of whether or not to take that “help”. Only then true growth can be achieved in the person we’re trying to help, when he / she feels that it was their decision.
Hi Daniel! Welcome to SCG;-) Thanks for your premiere comment;-)
I totally agree with you.
All the answers are within.
Who doesn’t want a help there isn’t any help. I’d respect their decision and move on. But not absolutely, of course.
BTW, that remind me one quote by Audrey Hepburn:
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you’ll find one at the end of your arm. . . As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands. One for helping yourself, the other for helping others.
Beautiful quote, Tinka!
Nice question Ivana. I don’t see anything wrong with that. If they do not want to be helped, I would respect their decision and help someone else who does need help. After all, not everyone in the world wishes to be helped. 🙂
Hey Hulbert! So great to “see you” again;-)
Yes, being ready for those who need help, instead of feeling frustrated from those who do not want it;-)
Help those that want the help. There are many different reasons people may not be hearing you out. Maybe your message is not what they want to hear, maybe they have resistances and walls created over time to block off such help for whatever reason.
Sometimes the way you’re trying to help them is not the way they want to be helped. And sometimes they just want to do it alone and help themselves. Sometimes the relationship hasn’t developed enough to the point where the person wants your help.
Use your energy wisely and help those that want the help. Change is tough for everyone. Once a person is ready to change, they’re willing to accept your help. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. But if you get the hint that, that’s not what they want, at least for the moment, then distribute your art somewhere else.
Hey Charles!
Welcome, welcome to our Super Cool Gang with your 1st comment;-)
What a wonderful insight you have shared with us.
Yes, I loved especially last sentence: “distribute your art somewhere else”
😉
Great question, really fits my current mood. What would I do? I help people because I believe I can and should. If they do not want to be helped, does not matter, I do my best and see. No reward expected, and if they would not value that, who cares? I value myself for doing that.
Yes Marek, always know your own value;-)
As Michael said in 1st comment: love yourself;-)